April 29th 2017 marks Donald J. Trump’s 100th Day in office as the president of the United States. I’m not pointing this out to start a political debate, that’s for another day and another blog entirely. No the reason I mention it, is that it for me it marks 100 days since my ‘rock bottom’ moment, where I nearly lost it with my infant son. I’ve blogged before about that awful moment and how I slowly managed to climb out into the light once more and regain a sense of myself, different though she is.
Today, things couldn’t be further from that terrible afternoon 100 days ago. Today, my love and bond for my baby boy grows deeper with every passing minute. We literally giggle and play through each day as we learn more about each other. In fact, I have become one of those google-eyed mummies who just stares at their baby in complete adoration and wonder. One of those baby crazy women I could never have identified with before having my own! Back then, I’d normally be the one in the room looking for the puppy when others would be making a beeline for the new-born. In any case, I had become a besotted mummy and it was during one of these love-drunk moments a couple of days ago when the strangest thing happened to me. I had this insatiable urge to have another baby!
FFS! I mean what was I thinking? Another baby? I had clearly not just lost my marbles, but I had hurled them off the nearest cliff, run over them in my car and thrown the smashed parts into the sea. Let’s not forget, this baby revelation was out of the mouth of the same women who 100 days ago almost sank into the darkness of depression never to re-emerge and now here I was casually wishing for another baby? I couldn’t explain it at all. It was like an involuntary reflex over which I had no power. I was literally staring into my baby boy’s eyes thinking ‘God you are SO gorgeous, I love you so much, you are so cute… oh I’d love another one of you!’ I kid you not, that is exactly what I said… out loud. My only explanation? The hormones.
I don’t know the deep science behind hormones, but I do know one thing. They are in charge and just completely rule our lives. From hormones that made me almost lose the plot in the early days of motherhood, to the hormones that made me pang for another baby, to the hormones that turn me into Genghis Khan just before my period, to the hormones that will one day take me through the fun world of menopause, hormones are the very driver of our behaviour. They turn us from straight-forward children into rampaging teenagers and then into confused, but besotted parents. Hormones effect sleep, hunger, temperature; they are the very essence of what drive us and sadly we aren’t just able to turn them off.
And it’s not just the women who get these crazy baby pangs either. Just look at the men! Many husbands are guilty of blurting out those infamous ‘oh let’s have another baby’ words much sooner than the mothers, who are often still getting over the birth and coming to terms with the momentous change in their lives…. It’s no wonder many of us then proceed to give our husbands a slap in the face! But don’t worry, the only upside of the hormones is that you can blame almost anything on them. Yes, dear it was those damn hormones - the ultimate get out of jail free card!