It’s amazing how quickly your babies can change. I put the little dude in the big boy part of the shopping trolley for the first time the other day. He’s coming up on 9 months old and I thought it was about time I tried him in the fold down trolley seat. And wow did he love it. Like all babies, he is super curious and this new outlook on the world was nothing short of stupendous for him. He was free to wave his legs, look around and as I found out, grab literally everything in sight!
I hadn’t actually been grocery shopping with him in about 3 weeks, as we had been away for a week and my husband had brought him the week before that. This trip though, was certainly the most challenging shopping trip I think I’ve had with him so far. But it was as if this transformation from baby in car seat, to burgeoning wilding toddler happened overnight. I mean when he was a small baby, I’d have him in the Maxi Cosi and nab one of those trolleys where you can strap in the car seat. They were a life saver. Generally, he’d sleep while I went around the aisles at lightning speed to finish before he awoke and did the ‘death roar.’ Those days are gone. Now, grocery shopping has become a whole different ballgame!
Let me set the scene for you. It was Saturday afternoon. A time I wouldn’t normally aim for doing the groceries, but needs must and so we braved the crowds. We went to Cornelscourt where the aisles were crammed with confused people of all ages trying to get to grips with the stores ever changing layout… but seriously, when in Jesus name will they be finished with their ‘revamp?’ Yes, it’s all very snazzy now with deli counters, cheesemongers and artisan butchers, but I just get used to one layout and they go and change it the next time I get there!
On top of that, the kids are back to school so everyone was there to stock up on lunch essentials for the week ahead. It was elbows in your face and everyone reaching for the same things. It was pretty much grocery shopping hell, or what I like to call ‘trolleys at dawn.’ But none of that was on my radar yet, because there I was at the entrance to the grocery department, beaming down at my little boy who’s now big enough to sit in the trolley seat and snapping a pic on my phone like a complete ejit.
‘This is going to be great,’ I said to myself, blissfully unaware of the carnage that lay ahead.
With my list in my hand I merrily headed for the fruit and I kid you not in the blink of an eye, he’d shifted to the right and grabbed a huge tray of fruit and fecked it on the ground, leaving mushed raspberries and grapes everywhere.
‘Oh’ I thought to myself, as he smiled up at me truly delighted by what he’d just done. Okay, not to worry, I’ll just try and keep a closer eye on what he’s doing.
But that was only the start of the carnage.
He’s also recently started to wail at the top of his voice. It’s as if he has just discovered two important facts. First is that his voice goes all the way to 11. And second, that he can control it at will. So on and off around the aisles, he’d deploy his new found talent at the top of his baby lungs, going puce in the face with effort. He wasn’t upset or giving out, he was literally just screaming for the pure hell of it. Cue lots of looks from concerned people no doubt muttering under their breath about the pair of us. What’s funny though, is he’ll let out this God awful wail, but then he’ll turn to some stranger and smile so wide that he literally charms the pants right off them. This kid’s got skills!
Anyway, in between the screaming, the next thing on this hit list was the broccoli, which I stupidly thought might amuse him for a bit while being strong enough to resist his machinations. Wrong. That got manhandled and broken into pieces. But hey, less chopping for me when I got home, right? The pack of tomatoes were next, which he stealthily grabbed by doing a 180 in the seat and shook it so much that, yep you guessed it, the bag opened and it was tomato falls. When we eventually made it to the baby aisle, he grabbed a pack of his favourite baby custard and flung it with glee so high in the air, that it fell back down and went splat all over the floor.
‘Oh Jesus!’ I sighed to myself. ‘I’m pretty sure we won’t be let back in here next week baby boy.’ Just then a woman emerged with a mop and bucket… I got the sneaking suspicion she might have been even following me and the trail of destruction we left in our wake. I apologised profusely as he started up his high octane roar once more. She smiled sympathetically and something told me that my baby boy’s antics were just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to weekend shopping with kids.
I can only hope it gets better, but I get the feeling we’re fast approaching the start of toddlerhood and the age of meltdowns.