I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the determination of babies and toddler is just off the scale. If I had even a drop of it, I’d have written 20 best-sellers by now and could retire. I wonder when it is, I lost this innate sense of willpower, because from what I can see every single little person has it in their droves.
Often this determination shows itself in positive ways such as spending hours of practising skills which is both adorable and admirable… but then there are other ways in which their determination shows itself…
Yes I’m talking about the times when they express that iron will with epic meltdowns.
Let’s be honest, a toddler tantrum is hell, especially when you’re out and about. I used to fear them, I think probably because I lacked confidence in my own abilities as a mum and was afraid of being judged by people. But the further I’ve got along this journey, the less I give a damn what people think of me. Because what I’ve realised is that I like most mothers are doing their bloody best at this job and that none of us have a clue what we’re doing.
So these day’s while I still hate the meltdowns, I’m a little less phased by them. In fact, as shitty as they are, there is a part of me that’s starting to find them a teeny bit funny, mainly due to the hilarious poses my toddler get himself into during his protests.
And at the moment, these are the three key tantrum positions I’m on the look out for -
The Car Seat Rod
Basically this is where he refuses to be put into the car seat and stands like an iron rod, his feet firmly on the bottom of the seat and his head almost on the back shelf of the car. Immovable, like a super baby of steel I shout at him, ‘bend, for Jaysus sake, child just bend!!’
The Silent Protest
This is definitely more preferable than the screaming tantrum variety, but it’s still as inconvenient to deal with especially when you’re out. So when he is upset about some terrible injustice, like not being able to watch Peppa Pig for 5 solid hours in a row or get in the washing machine, he goes limp and throws his body on the floor, in a move that would probably win him a Tony Award for dramatics.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the carpet, tiles or wood or what pile of toys he’s about to land on or if we’re out somewhere for that matter. He splays himself out and lies motionless with a Ghandi style silent protest. I actually turned away to ignore one of these the other day and he proceeded to get up off the floor and come over to me and threw himself on the floor in front of me, just so I could see it.
Of all the tantrum poses he’s doing at the moment, this is my personal favourite. If you’ve ever seen the aforementioned film, The Exorcist or any film involving a possession you’ll have an idea what I mean.
This one tends to happen when he’s sitting in the a high chair or trolley or should I say when ‘he’s made to sit in the trolley’ as opposed to being able to run around the shop like Usain Bolt. He objects of course and when the Car Seat Rod manoeuvre doesn’t work, because I can pull his feet through the openings in the trolley seat, he sits down and then contorts his body in some weird pose… like arching backwards and then goes completely still as if he’s made out of rock… or just possessed.
I ignore it and carry on wheeling the trolley much to the puzzlement of the other shoppers who wonder if I’m about to start sprinkling holy water on him and chant ‘The Power of Christ Compels You,’ as we walk around the supermarket.