Parenting teaches you many, many things. I could write a War & Peace sized anthology on the lessons it has taught me in these past 20 months of mammying… 20 months, what will I be like after 20 years!?
I’ve blogged before about how much motherhood has changed me as a person, but my own experience aside, I think if I were to give advice to any new parents-to-be out there, I would say they should expect a healthy dose of expectation vs reality.
Let’s be honest, I was a naïve gobshite before I had kids. The amount of things I imagined myself doing or how I thought it was going to be… Well let’s just say if I could go back in my DeLorean time machine and give pre-kid me a really large slap in the face I would!
But here’s the thing. We are ALL naïve gosbhites before we have kids.
It doesn’t matter if you have lots of nieces and nephews and spent lots of time with your friends kids, etc. The reality of having your own is the biggest bombshell of your life and lets face it, we all go out like Deer’s in headlights. We all buy useless baby crap with the expectation of using it in some blissful scene from a movie, where your baby sleeps like an angel and you bounce back to your normal self in a week.
Let me explain –
The Baby Book
Before Kids – Oh look at this cute baby book! I’m going to fill every, single page with every detail of my labour and my babies progress. I can’t wait!
After Kids – What fucking baby book?
Super Cute Baby Clothes
Before Kids – Oh my God I have to buy every one of these super cute, teeny-weeny outfits for my bundle of joy. I’m going to change his clothes so many times a day so he can wear them all!
After Kids – If it doesn’t have poppers or preferably a zip, it’s going in the bin!
Before Kids – My god what if his soother falls on the ground when I’m out and I don’t have a replacement? What about the germs? What will I do?
After Kids– Give it a wipe, it will be grand. And pretty soon your kid will be picking actual dirt off the ground and eating it, probably exposing himself to Ebola on a daily basis, so don’t stress. Also, Niamh you have a dog that will eventually lick the spoon which your toddler will then put back in his own mouth…
Before Kids – Yes every month I’m going to take a stunning picture and share it on my Insta and will mark each and every milestone with said cards. Oh this is going to be such fun!
After Kids – What day is it again?! What's my name?! When's the last time I slept?!
A Gorgeous Baby Bag
Before Kids – I’m going to buy that designer baby bag with all those nifty compartments to keep everything organised and tidy.
After Kids – It will become the black hole of the universe and you won’t be able to find anything. Ever.