We’ve reached that milestone… my little dude is a fully fledged toddler, running around and chatting like there is no tomorrow… yes we’ve entered what’s often referred to as ‘The terrible twos!’
Now I’ve heard parents say things like -
The terrible twos are a myth…
Or, you shouldn’t use such negative language to describe a period in a child’s life, it can have very damaging consequences…
Well you know what else has really damaging consequences Susan? (don’t know why it’s always Susan getting the flack, but hey, ho.) It’s a toddler running around the house with a huge stick, wielding it like he’s bleedin’ He-Man for the honour of Greyskull! And when you gently try and explain that he can’t do that inside the house, all hell breaks loose and he gets down on the floor, for a full-on, wailing, limbs-flailing tantrum, which just happens to be meltdown number six and it’s only two o’clock in the afternoon, as you try and not get whacked in the face with said stick and count the hours until bedtime and contemplate downing a bottle of gin or running away to join the circus.
The terrible twos are real people… well at least they are in my house.
Look don’t get me wrong, my son can be the most affectionate little sweetie and even when he is running around the house like the Tasmanian Devil, full of boundless energy, I’m absolutely fine with that. In fact, I love it, I love to see him happy and bouncing around, giddy and playing; yes a few things might get broken etc, but so what, that’s part of toddlerhood mayhem… of course when he decides to leap off the couch onto a pile of cushions (or not as the case may be!) the moment I step away just to pee or something, that’s when it gets more serious. Even then, he’s normally fine with my explaining why that’s dangerous or he shouldn’t do it etc. and we move on to playing with something else or doing something else.
Yes it’s full on, but it’s great to see him full of such personality and we have a blast laughing and playing.
But, then there are those days when EVERYTHING IS A STRUGGLE. We’ve just come out of one hell of a rough month tantrum wise. I couldn’t tell you why, but for the last three weeks or so, my child has been the actual embodiment of the Antichrist. It probably explains why I've been lacking on the blog front too.. I've been too busy fighting fires... Now he has been a wee bit sick, with a viral sort of cold/cough, so perhaps he’s felt like complete dogshit, I know I did when I inevitably caught his germs. But even still, I just don’t think it could account for the holy hell he’s put us through.
To be really honest, he’s been a complete nightmare to be around and I did consider selling him on ebay several times, even though I love him more than anything in this world.
I actually lost count of the number of EPIC meltdowns he’s had over the stupidest of things – like getting in the bath, getting out of the bath, eating dinner, getting in the car, coming down the stairs… Jesus, just putting shoes on or changing a nappy has been as traumatic as two tours of ‘nam!
It was as if he was going through something developmentally, as if he was desperately trying to exert his will over EVERYTHING. He’d say he wanted a bowl of cereal for example and when I gave it to him, he’d then say he didn’t want it, so I said, okay no problem, and then he’d want it back, so I’d offer it back, and then he wouldn’t want it and on and on and on and on it went, until I had to go into the back garden and scream. And this went on for weeks over EVERYTHING. Of course, when he was with his grandparents or in playschool he was a complete angel… he just saved it all for me and his daddy…
By the end of it, I honestly think I could have talked anyone off a ledge… I mean it, I think I should add ‘world’s best hostage negotiator’ to my CV.
Thankfully though for the last week or so, we’ve got an eerie calm back in the house. He’s back to being relatively compliant, rambunctious in a fun, happy way and just back to his energetic, sunny little self… we’re laughing and having fun together again… I’m almost afraid to say that out loud in case we go back to shit town again… but I’m guessing whether I saw it or not we’ll be back there when the next phase of toddler meltdowns hit.
Terrible twos people… terrible twos.